NATIONAL GINAGRAPHIC
  • iGallivant
    • Back to 대한 민국 2021-2022! >
      • Jeena in Jeju >
        • Jeju Cafe Life
    • Shanghai 2021!
    • Moving to China? How to Survive in China! >
      • The Hard Part: Documentation, Banking and more HASSLES! (Pre- and Post-arrival)
      • Arrival, Settling In, Daily Life
      • AQI, health, safety, etc.
      • 我喜欢中国的东西!iLvChina!
      • Chengdu - Giant Panda City
      • NomNomNom
      • Teaching in China
      • The Great Leap Forward
    • Eastern Tibet & China 2018-19
  • BlahBlahBlog
    • Life Practices >
      • Fasting 2021
      • Reading List
      • Tao
      • I Am That
      • 2020 Fasting/Gratitude
      • Gratitude 2019
      • 我能行 2018!
      • 2016-17 365gratitude
    • Misc Blather
    • Life Savant
    • Hip Gnosis
    • Banchan - Stories and Poetry
    • Mortality As Fiction
    • Quotes That Resonate
    • Yummies 4 ur Tummies
    • ggTV
  • detours de Force
    • Roadish Tripping 2021
    • Kalifornikation 2021
    • Cabin in Colorado 2020
    • Aussiesome! 2019-20
    • "UltimateKhamTrek2019!"
    • HongKonger 2019
    • India Spring 2019
    • Kham Tibet 2019
    • Kham Tibet 2018
    • Bon Jour Paris! 2018
    • Yogaville 2016-2020
    • 내 김치 키스 2013-14 >
      • Life in Korea
      • 학생 안녕하세요!
      • Put it in my belly!
      • gadabout...
      • Video Diaries >
        • VidLoGs Korea
      • Teaching English in Korea
      • Signs of Fun
      • Pre-departure Essentials
      • K Drama
    • All My Exes Live in Texas
    • Climbing Chronicles
    • Sycling Singularites
    • Pirate of the Caribbean 2002-2010
    • Panama 2010
    • Florida Crackers 2003-2005, 2011-2013
    • The Euro 2003
    • Chic on a Bike 2008- Eternity
    • Chic on a Boat 1999-2013
  • About Moi
    • The Gallivanting Goddess
    • Contact Me!
  • iGallivant
    • Back to 대한 민국 2021-2022! >
      • Jeena in Jeju >
        • Jeju Cafe Life
    • Shanghai 2021!
    • Moving to China? How to Survive in China! >
      • The Hard Part: Documentation, Banking and more HASSLES! (Pre- and Post-arrival)
      • Arrival, Settling In, Daily Life
      • AQI, health, safety, etc.
      • 我喜欢中国的东西!iLvChina!
      • Chengdu - Giant Panda City
      • NomNomNom
      • Teaching in China
      • The Great Leap Forward
    • Eastern Tibet & China 2018-19
  • BlahBlahBlog
    • Life Practices >
      • Fasting 2021
      • Reading List
      • Tao
      • I Am That
      • 2020 Fasting/Gratitude
      • Gratitude 2019
      • 我能行 2018!
      • 2016-17 365gratitude
    • Misc Blather
    • Life Savant
    • Hip Gnosis
    • Banchan - Stories and Poetry
    • Mortality As Fiction
    • Quotes That Resonate
    • Yummies 4 ur Tummies
    • ggTV
  • detours de Force
    • Roadish Tripping 2021
    • Kalifornikation 2021
    • Cabin in Colorado 2020
    • Aussiesome! 2019-20
    • "UltimateKhamTrek2019!"
    • HongKonger 2019
    • India Spring 2019
    • Kham Tibet 2019
    • Kham Tibet 2018
    • Bon Jour Paris! 2018
    • Yogaville 2016-2020
    • 내 김치 키스 2013-14 >
      • Life in Korea
      • 학생 안녕하세요!
      • Put it in my belly!
      • gadabout...
      • Video Diaries >
        • VidLoGs Korea
      • Teaching English in Korea
      • Signs of Fun
      • Pre-departure Essentials
      • K Drama
    • All My Exes Live in Texas
    • Climbing Chronicles
    • Sycling Singularites
    • Pirate of the Caribbean 2002-2010
    • Panama 2010
    • Florida Crackers 2003-2005, 2011-2013
    • The Euro 2003
    • Chic on a Bike 2008- Eternity
    • Chic on a Boat 1999-2013
  • About Moi
    • The Gallivanting Goddess
    • Contact Me!

The Beauty is Inside   뷰티 인사이드

2/27/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
The quote to left by Eckhart Tolle weighs heavy on my mind and will not release me. I have chased abundance and prosperity all of my life. I have found them, gripped them, and then thrown it all away. I have relished financial prosperity and then made poor decisions. (Or did I?). I have made wise decisions that brought me joy and emptied my accounts. I was raised with a sense of fear surrounding money and a sense of lack. For a decade I have attempted to release and reverse these inculcations and other negative messages surrounding money, prosperity, and financial abundance.

I have successfully abandoned the position that money is of cardinal importance to success and happiness in my life (or anyone else's for that matter: it is continually demonstrated to me that one can be quite successful and joyously happy without money, and that many that have much wealth are the most miserable). I have withdrawn from the rat race and freed myself of the golden handcuffs that once bound me. I also deny the moral aphorism that money or want of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool, and therefore not inherently "evil" (if there is even such a thing as "evil", that is questionable as well), any more than a gun or a knife is inherently "evil". I want money, and I am certainly not evil. I would not trade my health or happiness or past experiences for any amount of money! I have experienced an incredible, adventurous life...
click "Read more" to the right...
...And yet, I am badgered by the notion that I have the potential to feel abundant and prosperous regardless of income or bank savings. I am bothered by the very concept of "small income", or that I don't "earn enough" to feel secure. Is that true? Are all of my concepts surrounding money, income, abundance, security, and prosperity based in negative falsehood? Will I ever enjoy the sense of equanimity that stems from feelings of abundance, prosperity, and security that I so desperately seek? Do I feel a lack of abundance as a result of the karma of being irresponsible in the past? Have I brought this negative karma on myself through the actions of my younger self? Can I undo it?

Security. Security. Security. To be frank, all I TRULY want is to FEEL secure, to FEEL abundant, and to FEEL prosperous in my life, whether I have enough money or not. I want to TRUST that I will be taken care of if I get ill or hurt or can't work anymore or don't want to work anymore. Unfortunately, I have a complete and utter lack of trust in this US Government and its social welfare systems; they have proven there is no support for me there. I also do not have family or friends on which I can rely for any kind of long-term financial help. As always in my life, it has boiled down to me taking care of me, because there is no one else there to do it. That's okay, I've accepted it even though I don't like it; despite the resultant feelings of isolation and sadness. It is what it is, and I have created my life so far. I recognize that there are plenty of people who have much, much, MUCH less than I do and yet they live happy and fulfilling lives. I know there are people who feel a sense of abundance and prosperity in their minds and hearts, while living below the poverty level. Then why can't I?

I truly want to feel abundant and prosperous without the Security I crave so much. I know that I must begin from a point of gratitude-- which I do! I know I must also replace my fear with gratitude. I fear our government and its lack of systems because I have experienced their persecution and lack of social care first-hand. That experience left me with a deep disgust for this country and culture; it deepened the feelings of distrust and dislike already present. It made me feel grateful for my experience of living in another country that offered its citizens care and well-being as a society. The disparity opened my eyes to the failures of this country in which I currently reside.

But I'm not writing this to bitch about the pathetic state of the USA and its crumbling culture, infrastructure, government, and social welfare systems. I can only control my life. Therefore, if "the source of all abundance is not outside" me, but rather, "part of who" I am, then it stands to reason that I must find that source within me and maintain it in steadiness. I must embrace that if abundance is "part of who" I am, then
I AM ABUNDANCE. I have access to the feeling of abundance at anytime, because it resides WITHIN me. If I am to move from a perspective of lack and fear, I acknowledge that I must begin with gratitude. I must focus on that for which I have to grateful, rather than what I fear. Furthermore, in my opinion, the most important lesson one can learn in life is to stay rooted in the present moment. There again is the second part of the answer: remain in the Present, where everything is always okay.

This, then, is the answer: start with gratitude and remain in the Now. Gratitude always makes me feel good, satisfied, and happy. Remaining present reminds me that I am okay and have enough. We are never anywhere else except Now anyway, right? The past is finished, and the future always occurs in the Now, so what else is there, except to be content in Now.

Now. Now. Now. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

My mission--and I choose to accept it--is remembering these two tenets and holding them in my conscious awareness at all moments, in all my days, throughout all the remaining days of my life!
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    _iGallivant...

    ...Small actions in a dynamic system will trigger vast and unexpected changes

    Archives

    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    January 2021
    August 2020
    July 2020
    April 2020
    February 2020
    September 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    August 2018
    June 2018
    March 2018
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014

    Categories

    All
    Altruism
    Attachment
    Awareness
    Bad Relationships
    Bandera Texas
    Book Of Possibilities
    Boundaries
    Break Ups
    Break-ups
    Budget Travel
    Chengdu
    China
    China Expat
    China Hostels
    Chinese Student Visa
    Chinese Visa Process
    Chinese Work Visa
    Compassion
    Cost Of Living In China
    Dalai Lama
    Digital Nomad
    Dysfunction
    Eastern Tibet
    Education For All
    Emotional Resilience
    Fear
    Future
    Gallivanting Goddess
    Gangga Massif
    Ganzi
    Ganzi Autonomous Prefecture
    Guanxi
    Healthy Relationships
    Helping Communities
    Helping Others
    Hiking
    Honda Rebel
    Honda Shadow
    Humanitarian Aid
    I Love China
    I Love Kham
    India
    International Educators
    Intimacy
    Jeenacast
    Kandze
    Kham
    Khampa
    Khampa Culture
    Khampa Customs
    Last Holiday
    Letting Go
    Living In China Kham Tibet
    LL Cool J
    Luxury Travel
    Motorcycle Rider
    Mountains
    National Ginagraphic
    Nepal
    Past
    Patreon
    Podcast
    Positivity
    Professional Chef
    Publish My Writing
    Queen Latifah
    Relationships
    SCUBA Instructor
    Self-employed
    Sherpa Cinema
    Sherpas
    Solo Trekking
    Southwestern Minzu University
    Teach Online
    Texas Hill Country
    Tibet
    Tibetan Buddhism
    Tibetan Buddhists
    Tibetan Culture
    Tibetan Language
    Tibetan Plateau
    Travel China
    Travel Costs In China
    Trekking
    Trek Training
    Tutoring
    UTSA
    Volunteer Work
    Western Sichuan
    Working In China
    Work Remotely
    Wounds
    Writer
    Writing
    Yoga Instructor
    Yoga Retreat
    Yogaville

    RSS Feed

Currently wandering around Daehan Minguk! ​

IG: "National Ginagraphic"

    Hit me up: 

boing!!