I keep getting this message over and over again; it's nothing new now or 5 years ago: stop fighting and just allow what is happening in life to happen. I get the message from friends (several!), books, and mysteriously often enough from my positive-thought email subscription to my daily inbox: Eckhart Tolle, The Universe, etc. I had an brief yet enlightening conversation with a new friend on Saturday that was so compelling, I followed up with a phone call to gain more insight. I've heard it all before, but it had new meaning, new application. It was almost as if I was hearing it for the first time, since I seem to have forgotten the art of allowing, along with so many other tools I have come to utilize over the years to stay present and positive- they have all fallen by the wayside as I've embraced habits of fear and negative thinking that I thought I had left in my past. And this is what I am learning yet again... (click read more, bottom right)
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I've been considering different options for volunteer and service work over the past few months; trying to figure out where I could both use my skills and make a real difference... I finally found a cause in which I believe, where I can offer my talent and expertise as a teacher in a few different areas!
Many people come to US for safety after being exploited for slave labor, prostitution, and war (child soldiers), or they are victims of violence, oppression, and civil war (like current Syrians seeking asylum). I can teach them English, American culture, how to use the public transportation system and how to manage their money and get started in the rebuilding of their lives. I really look forward to this! I was first introduced to this area of service a few years ago when visiting Buffalo, and attending a Zonta International meeting with my friend Janice, where several refugees spoke of their relocation and transition and how their lives were saved, and ultimately, improved (I volunteered for Zonta way back in the Aughts when I lived in Buffalo). I thought how wonderful it would be to help others acclimate and transition after escaping brutal and harsh conditions. We have it so easy here in the US. I was reminded of this desire watching two movies recently: The Good Lie (about Sudanese refugees) and Blood Diamond (civil war and diamond mining in Sierra Leon), both about Africans seeking asylum. If America is Great; if America is a World Leader, then our greatness lies in our strength to help all world citizens, the greatness of our power is held in our ability to care for all humans of the world, our leadership is an obligation of our origin as a nation of immigrants. Lest you all forget. http://www.rstx.org/volunteer.html (n.) A resident of or frequent visitor to a particular place
Spoke to someone yesterday who reminded me of the power of mindfulness to lift one out of a state of fear, or depression, or whatever negative energy is going on. I caught myself this morning, relapsing into that state, which has become a normal part of daily life: fear. The regular triggers: can't find a job, running low on money, lease up in 2 months and no affordable rentals in ATX, etc. etc. One of my coping techniques is exercise: running or cycling, and with my knee healing and in pain, I don't have a way to manage my stress. In fact, not being able to exercise adds to that stress and depression.
But, as I mentioned, I caught that downward spiral that always ends in hopeless tears with the word "mindfulness", and I asked myself: How am I RIGHT NOW? Fine, actually. Sitting on my bed, drinking a terrifically enjoyable cup of chai and reading Terry Pratchett, I looked up and saw that I was in a warm heated room on a comfy bed and had too many clothes in my closet. I noticed that I felt physically fine, my knee was not hurting, I had food in the frig when I became hungry for breakie, and I had a lot for which to feel gratitude. If I can just come into the PRESENT MOMENT each time I get one of these fear attacks, I'll be okay. It occurred to me within a few moments: "What if this is all just temporary, these horrid circumstances that I am currently suffering?", "What if I am able to successfully study for and pass the state certification exams within a few months and get a good job?", "So what if I have to move in with a friend or my Dad temporarily until the right job appears?", and "What if all this suffering is temporary, I become flush and prosperous again in 6 months, my knee heals, and I learn a valuable lesson and evolve into an improved version of myself because of these trials?". I wondered if all those could be true and that this is all a temporary state and will pass. That gave me a sense of relief and hope. I hope I can recapture this sense of ALLOWING and CALM that comes when I become present and aware of what is happening in the NOW. Then, I might just be okay and survive the Current Life Storm. This year has been tough. I have fallen into a fog of negative thinking, which has sucked me down into swamp of misery, self-loathing, self-pity, and hopelessness; and that's just a sampling. I know the only way out is to change my thinking. I also know that nothing will change until I change. It's time to turn my life around and get back on track; regain my sense of Self, re-ignite the Light, and eliminate all those negative thoughts which have turned into temporary beliefs by replacing them with Truth and the positive beliefs I normally hold about myself and life.
I am capable. I am powerful. I am successful. I can get the job that I want. I can focus. I can study and test successfully. I can achieve my Teaching Certification. I am a creative, inspiring, compassionate, passionate, capable, educator. I am a great teacher. I can rebound financially. I can be prosperous financially and materially. I deserve prosperity, a great job, a Love who is my equal, and radiant health. I deserve to live the life I want. I can be full of Light again. I can support myself. I can live on my own in a lovely home. My body will heal. I can trust my body. I will be strong and flexible and thin again. My body supports me. The Universe supports me. Life supports me. I am grateful. I have had a fantastic life and I have a lot for which to be grateful. The hard part will soon be over and it will all be easy again. I will have a fantastic life again: full of travels, motorcycles, love, compassion, cartwheels, climbing, cycling, surfing, running, yoga, creativity, health, success, happiness, prosperity, and abundance of all good things! |
_iGallivant......Small actions in a dynamic system will trigger vast and unexpected changes Archives
August 2021
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