Epic News coming down the pipeline! I decided not to take the job in Guiyang--too many red flags and my intuition keeps nudging me that the school is the wrong fit. When I decided that I would not accept the job afte rall, I felt a crashing wave of relief roll through my body! That specific feeling let me know the decision was the right one, plus, the immense feeling of freedom I am currently experiencing is thrilling! I feel happy ... that's been a long time comin'! I haven't felt happy or peaceful since I left india, and before that, it was my summer in Kham where I felt those emotions! I wasn't "happy" when I accepted the job; I was just relieved that I didn't have to continue the job hunt, which was sucking up so much energy and time that I started feeling burnt -- so much wasted time with recruiters and interviews with jobs that were not a good fit. I've never turned down so many jobs before!!! I learned a lot from this last round of interviews and the process as a whole, so I hope in the fall, it will be easier! What's next? I am humorously designating my sabbatical "Gina's Gap Year"! I love it! At first, it was my "Serendipitous Sabbatical", which also has a nice ring, but then I watched some Coming-of-Age RomCom and Gap Year stuck! What should I do? Where should I go? How will I support myself? Will I stay in China? All of these questions flickered through my head since I made this decision on Tuesday! (And I am sure ya'll are freaking out! by now!!) Well, I have let the creative juices fuel this sense of freedom, and I have realized that my Goddess Serendip has opened the double French Doors of Possibilities and Opportunities ... ... I can fulfill my dreams now! The more I considered the timing and options, the greater my realization that I now have the time to write and dedicate myself to creating published works from which I can sustain myself financially! Or start a business in China! Or start my Master's! From each novel idea proceeded another! Cartwheeling through the French Doors of Possibilities and Opportunities, I discovered more options: a chocolate mousse cake labeled "Eat Me", and a small bottle of soju with a "Drink Me" tag attached. I took the shot and ate the cake and went through the next door. Then, a thin Larry Fishburne appeared, offering me a choice of two pills as he whispered, "After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill—you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes." Not surprisingly, I talked him into giving me both, and several more doors opened to the National Ginagraphic Multiverse! Hmmmmmmm... so many opportunities! Helltotheyes! Which ever direction I walk, I will carry my writing journal and dedicate myself to that pursuit. I've told my closest friends, and received so much support, reaffirming what I already know: best decision had been made! Done and done! My main goals are to write and recuperate/rejuvenate from a rough year in a nature-soaked setting of mountains or oceanfront. I will spend 1-6 months working part-time to keep my savings intact while writing -- on a beach or in the mountains, but most likely in the mountains if I am able. I will consider self-employment opportunities that can turn into a long-term business, as well as continuing my education. I will also get my brand going by adding a podcast to my blog. Blog, book, podcast... how can I not succeed! (Note: Since I started this post two days ago, new options and ideas have been presented, with some change to the original plan, although writing and recuperating are definitely leading the way!) Queen Latifah's "Book of Possibilities"*:
Biz Ideas: Tutoring Teach online Start a school Open a BnB Open a cafe Patreon - volunteer teacher and community help in Nepal or Kham (details later) Podcast + Patreon (details later) Utilize and build guanxi (Ch. for networking and connections) Priorities
Don't underestimate me ... I always achieve my goals! *What!!?? You didn't see Last Holiday with the Queen and LL Cool J? You crazy? Go. Watch it. Now.
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I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately (not that this is different from any other day in my life) about how miserable I am at work ... I hate my job ... ultimately, it is my thoughts about the job -- no matter how much it sucks -- that make me miserable, not the job ... how can I change MY THOUGHTS!!? How can I step out of my misery, accept reality, but work on changing it? How can I live in a miserable situation without it touching me? I've been concerned about the big move coming up: finding an apartment, hiring movers, packing, logistics of coordinating new job with quitting old job with moving to another city with departing for vacation, preparing for long trek, starting new job, etc. ... ad nauseum. Then Mooji's quote popped up: Life Takes Care of Life. I remembered the crux of these words and decided that it would all work out okay, and I could worry less -- do what I can, but worry less. I felt better. I've also been wondering how I can escape the trap of working for others to pursue my deeper dream of writing and hiking and living in the mountains (although I love teaching and still want to teach) ... I've felt ambivalence the entire time I have negotiated this new job, knowing it wasn't really the right fit, but accepting the negatives because I thought the one big positive (leadership position) would balance it out ... and then the Universe shifted and made the decision for me! Now EVERYTHING has changed, and my future is a new unknown and I feel... ... relieved! More news will follow when I know more myself, but let's just say that the dreams I have had in the past have a chance of being realized, and the break I need from the breakdown of this past year may come to pass! (I am burnt the f** out!!) I've dreamt of spending a month -- or a year -- at Yogaville. I've dreamt of spending months hiking and trekking and writing. I've dreamt of becoming and being self-sufficient through writing or running my own business. I've dreamt dreams, and now I am waking up. I am awakening to the reality of living them! |
_iGallivant......Small actions in a dynamic system will trigger vast and unexpected changes Archives
August 2021
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