It's hard for me to let go of friendships, but it seems I've done this quite a few times in the last few years. I wonder, is it me? Then I realize, people change, and they are no longer a good (or healthy) fit in my life. People outgrow me; I outgrow them. This is more of the same lesson about ebb and flow, ups and downs, the Tao, and going with the flow of the current of Life. We (I) have concepts about relationships, friendships... That they should last. It took me years to realize that relationships change and many don't last. Yet, I never applied that rule to friendships. I have many long-lasting, hardy friendships. I have friendships that have been intimate and endured since I was age 16. When I become a true friend to someone, I always want to remain so. But sometimes, that's just not meant to be. As I have evolved, so have my friendships. Sometimes they fade, sometimes they explode. Several friends I have simply outgrown because while I have evolved, they remain stuck in attitudes and actions that I just cannot tolerate. Negativity, lack of compassion, unkindness... I just don't want to be around it. Am I perfect, hell no, but I am always trying to be better, to be my Highest self. A few of these friendships have been hard for me to end; it doesn't feel right or natural to end a friendship I've maintained with someone for years and years and years. But when the negativity or cruelty to others (or myself!) is too much, I have walked away. I still think about those significant women in my life, and hold them in my heart. I wonder about their lives. I wonder if they think of me and miss me, too. Probably not. That's okay.
The point is, if someone is closing the door, I will only keep my foot in it so long before I realize that it's time to let the door close completely. I have to let go. I have to accept that just as I change, my friends evolve also, and perhaps in a completely opposite direction. Perhaps it is my fault: I am too vocal or harsh in my words, I am judgmental rather than supportive, perhaps they even think I am the negative, critical, uncompassionate one... Ouch! And maybe I am. Fault matters not, however. What matters is that I recognize change, and flow with it. I have to allow that person to drift off and away, even drown. Ultimately, it is their choice and I can't save anyone. Perhaps they don't like the color of the lifebuoy I threw... I certainly can't force it over their head. So I float on, let people pass in and out of my life, taking their own course, while I focus on allowing myself to relax in the river of Life, without struggling. Acceptance. Dark and Light. Highs with Lows. They are all part of the whole, and one cannot be without the other. I suppose one friendship grows and deepens, while the other disaggregates to its end. I can allow that too. I'm taking my foot out of the doorway.
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Master Bruce Lee says that in order to change, we need to control ourselves. For self-control we need self-knowledge. Self-knowledge is knowing our Nature. When we know our Nature, we can work with it, rather than against it. There cannot be self-control when you go against your nature.
I want to flow with the river, not struggle against it. Be like Water;
I will yield to what comes, Disconnect my energy from future worries, Events that have passed. I am the most powerful on earth. Water. I cannot be harmed when I give in. Whatever is thrown at me, I simply allow its passing,. I move with the force, steering it with its own power. The rain falls: each drop contains the strength of a flooded river, Carving its way. It cannot be stopped or contained. Thus is my will. I contain the life of all the oceans. If I am blocked, I do not struggle, It is easy to flow in another direction. As I allow, my creative powers increase like a tidal surge. I am patient, I am peaceful, As I make my way like a trickling creek, to join in the power of the running stream, The winding river that cuts gorge, to the ocean that allows life on earth. I hold all of that power within me, as a single drop. To what will will I yield? All of life. In giving way I am unconquerable. July 27, 2016 © Regina J McMurray 2016
Unfortunately, my "media" consumption has increased since FB started posting their damn "News" feed on the side of the app; it's almost impossible to ignore.
I made a conscious choice years and years ago to avoid TV, news, and all media, since it is mainly negative and makes me feel AWFUL. No, I do not bury my head in the sand (maybe an inch or two), but all of the awful events of late have caused a marked increase in my stress level and feelings of anger, helplessness, and pain. These are not feelings I want to increase in my life. Therefore, (proclamation trumpets here) I am returning to my news-free state and keeping my eyes averted, physically covering the side of the screen, and using willpower and determination to keep the negativity out of my life. Does my empathy decrease or end with lack of knowledge of the horrors of our world, certainly not. But feeling horror, sadness, despair, and anger certainly does NOT help anyone. Instead, I will stay connected to love, compassion and empathy; I will send it out to the world and do what I can in my circle to be of service and help others increase their own levels of love and compassion. Knowledge of violence does not decrease violence, it only increases my awareness of violence, brings more violence into my conscious focus, and thus, ignites my own feelings of violence. This is not welcome in my world. Although I can't utterly and entirely avoid it, since I always get news from my social circles, I don't have to bathe my life in it. I Love FB; the purpose it serves for me is to enable me to keep in touch with my friends and family all over the world. I do not want FB to feed negativity about how much our world can suck, and how awful people can be––and are––to eachother. Be love. You are what you think, and I choose love, acceptance, understanding, compassion, awareness, evolution, Highest Good for myself and all living beings. |
_iGallivant......Small actions in a dynamic system will trigger vast and unexpected changes Archives
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