I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately (not that this is different from any other day in my life) about how miserable I am at work ... I hate my job ... ultimately, it is my thoughts about the job -- no matter how much it sucks -- that make me miserable, not the job ... how can I change MY THOUGHTS!!? How can I step out of my misery, accept reality, but work on changing it? How can I live in a miserable situation without it touching me?
I've been concerned about the big move coming up: finding an apartment, hiring movers, packing, logistics of coordinating new job with quitting old job with moving to another city with departing for vacation, preparing for long trek, starting new job, etc. ... ad nauseum.
Then Mooji's quote popped up:
Life Takes Care of Life.
I remembered the crux of these words and decided that it would all work out okay, and I could worry less -- do what I can, but worry less.
I felt better.
I've also been wondering how I can escape the trap of working for others to pursue my deeper dream of writing and hiking and living in the mountains (although I love teaching and still want to teach) ...
I've felt ambivalence the entire time I have negotiated this new job, knowing it wasn't really the right fit, but accepting the negatives because I thought the one big positive (leadership position) would balance it out ... and then the Universe shifted and made the decision for me!
Now EVERYTHING has changed, and my future is a new unknown and I feel...
More news will follow when I know more myself, but let's just say that the dreams I have had in the past have a chance of being realized, and the break I need from the breakdown of this past year may come to pass! (I am burnt the f** out!!)
I've dreamt of spending a month -- or a year -- at Yogaville. I've dreamt of spending months hiking and trekking and writing. I've dreamt of becoming and being self-sufficient through writing or running my own business.
I've dreamt dreams, and now I am waking up.
I am awakening to the reality of living them!
...Small actions in a dynamic system will trigger vast and unexpected changes