The more I study goddess archetypes, feminine archetypes, matriarchy in society, and the like, the more my desire builds to continue my studies of philosophy of women in some form or other, when I continue my education to achieve my PhD in Philosophy. The authors I am reading are manifesting the words that I feel, that I have been unable to coherently express. The knowledge is there, but perhaps the acceptance and expression is not. I am not necessarily learning anything New to other women, but I am learning knowledge new to me; knowledge under the surface, always held within my bones, but never brought forth into realization. See? It's hard for me to coherently describe what I think and feel. I know there is awakening and epiphany, learning and acceptance. There are also deep, deep feelings of anger and injustice at how more than 50% of the human populace has been oppressed, abused, denied rights, and even worse still; it is 2016 in the so-called modern society of America, we still live under patriarchal rule where business dictates lesser pay and government controls my body. Like so many other women–and still in current times!–I was raised to dislike the roundness and fullness of my body; I was taught to be ashamed of my bodies process: blood of menstruation and lack of blood in menopause; our culture suggests we put ourselves to sleep while we give birth, and deny our desires and dreams so that our husbands and children can fulfill theirs. I have the anger of centuries of women, I feel the oppression of millennia in my collective consciousness. I study all of this to move through my own period of awakening, to come into my authentic self, to see vividly my subconscious drives that have dictated my outward actions. I seek to evolve, and this is part of the process. It is difficult to quell my desire it rebel against this society, to separate myself from it: I don't feel part of this age culture, which is probably part of the reason I have a continual desire to leave. Where can I find my sisters who celebrate feminine wisdom and value the archetypes of womanhood?
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