What an emotional hangover! I drank to much excitement, newness, and clean mountain air. The crash downward is steep and quick -- SPLAT! Back to reality. Even though mine is currently a pleasant reality, it is much harder to ingest after the fantasy I lived the past four weeks as I labored up the mountains of the Tibetan plateau.
Perhaps it is a physiological let-down from high altitude.
Perhaps it is a return to normal from the near-manic enjoyment I experienced.
Perhaps it is an emotional decline to baseline after meeting so many incredible people, observing so many incredible vistas, and experiencing a constant influx of NEW minute-by-minute to the point of joy-overload.
Perhaps it is spiritual loneliness after touching the heavens from mountaintops.
Was my time in Kham TOO good? Was there TOO much excitement? I stayed on the -- metaphoric and real -- mountaintop for so many weeks; "normal life" feels atrociously difficult. Returning to earth -- metaphorically and in real life -- I find myself at the bottom of a sine wave and YUK! Even though life is good and I'm glad to be back and nothing is really wrong ... there is so much I miss: people, places, food, earth, wind, sunshine, quiet.
I especially miss one person in particular -- the proximal presence of that person is notably absent; absence noted in heart and body... I did not realize how much the sensation of physical touch had been missing from my life until I had it again. At present, it is all I can think about! The psychological and emotional necessity of physical touch is common knowledge. And now, all of my mental effort is dedicated to solving this "problem" of need.
Sigh. It will pass, I know, I know...
...Small actions in a dynamic system will trigger vast and unexpected changes