Day 211 - Gratitude

I have experienced such a profound shift in emotional and psychic state, the calm feels near bliss. Changes at school have amplified this tenfold. I look forward to being in the classroom even on a day like today, when I feel rather terrible due to coughing and lack of sleep and tired feet from a long hike in inadequate shoes. I know I can care for my self while still providing a wonderful fun day of experiential-learning for my kiddos.

It's a wonderful feeling.

It's not bliss in the sense of being high or out of balance in the "good" direction; rather, it's a lack of anxiety and a sense of calm. This calm feels nouveau to me and my life after these years of the opposite. It's a gift! I thought I would never turn that corner or find that light and both have finally reappeared! There is no bright flash or magnificent epiphany, but a slow, easeful movement, like the bow drawn slowly across one string of a cello, providing deepness and continuity rather than a shrill, sudden note of change.

I kept hoping and praying and visualizing and hoping for change. I kept expecting a sudden transformation overnight. This is smoother and gentler and I am starting to feel the gratitude for this type of timing come forth within. I know that in the future I shall become even more grateful that this shift occured slowly. Perhaps the changes will become more permanent this way.

I am grateful for school and friends and my kids and my co-peeps. I am grateful that I always have been -- and remain -- open to change and learning and possibilities.

Sigh. :-)