August 29, 1968 - 12:28 PM.
August 29, 2016. It was a good day then, it's a good day 48 years later!! I'm grateful for many things on my birthday today: a job I love that challenges me in the right way, a healthy body, a secure home, self-awareness, my love of learning and reading, the ability to evolve and create and define my life on my terms... I'm grateful for loving friends and family, a comfortable bed, clothes to wear, and transportation... I'm grateful for sunny days and warm weather, running, cycling, climbing, yoga, hiking, wandering, travel, solitude, books, pens I like... I'm grateful for who have become, who I will become, and all that has brought me here. I've lived a grand life as a gallivant,;as a goddess. Kewl!
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I slept 9 GLORIOUS HOURS! I am so grateful for finally, after two weeks, getting adequate sleep! I've been going to bed early, listening to Yoga Nidra (deep relaxations) guided relaxations, and now melatonin to get my mind to shut the hell up so I can sleep. Normally, I never have trouble sleeping: I read a bit, and fall into a deep, restful sleep, and ZONK! sleep 8-9 hours and awaken fully restored and full of energy! I'm not anxious, but do have a lot going on in my mind related to my new teaching post! It's good, but I've been TIRED! Wednesday, I came home and went to bed at 8pm! And I've been overloading on coffee during the day so I don't feel so zombiefied! Thank you Melatonin! Until I can re-regulate my mind, and get into a groove with school, 9 mg. hits the spot! I feel great today and I'm so grateful!
I'm also grateful for a healthy body as my knee is getting better and better each day! I can almost get my foot up to my groin again for half-lotus Vrksasana (tree pose with foot folded into the groin instead of foot placed against the inner thigh) with my right knee! In this pose, you bend your knee and fold your foot into the hip-crease with the sole facing outward. You advance to bending over and then squatting one one-leg with your knee still bent as well (in Bikram yoga). Soon I will be doing the full pose again! I can also almost do a full squat (Garland Pose), where you squat down all the way again (though I am still slightly crooked with weight more to the left). And! I can almost sit in full Virasana (hero pose)! First, you sit back on your heels, then spread your shins and feet to the side, so your butt is down on the floor between your heels. This pose takes a lot of knee ligament flexibility, which I've lost over the course of the year, but it's returning to normal! Whoo Hoo! Now, just got to make the time to get my bike fixed so I an start pedaling again! I am grateful for my healthy body and and SLEEP! photos credits: Half-lotus Vrksasana - bodysoulyoga.uk Seated Virasana - cronyogitect.blogspot.com Reclined Virasana (Bikram posture) - asanajunkieswinter2015.com Balancing Half-lotus Vrksasana - unknown (Pinterest) Trying to find gratitude when feeling frustration and powerlessness is not easy. I had a pretty good day, then an unpleasant phone call which threw me off for a few hours, and a dinner which unsettled my stomach, so BLAH!
So while I struggle with those feelings, I searched for gratitude, and found it, despite physical and personal unease. I'm looking at vehicles, which is definitely something for which to be grateful! The fact that I'm in the position to get a vehicle is definitely something for which I am very, very grateful! I didn't need anything but a bike in Korea, and haven't been able to get a vehicle since my return. I sold my last motorcycle in 2013 when I left NC. Here I am, shopping for another motorcycle, or Jeep, or Smartcar, so how awesome is that! I'm grateful to be in a position where I can even be thinking about those! yay! I've been working A LOT since school started, 11 hour days, 7 days a week - but that is only for week one. Last night, I was thinking about all I had to do, and wondering how I was going to fit it all in--while remaining balanced--and it occurred to me that I did not feel anxious about it! Wow! Now, I am superfragilisticaliciously grateful for that! To realize the overwhelm of The To Do, and yet, not feel overwhelmentized! (Yes, I make up words, and I find it amusing and fun!)
This morning, I reviewed and reorganized my schedule; I'm trying to coordinate all of my personal goals and endeavors with my professional goals and endeavors. For instance, I will soon start training for a long-distance thru-hike of the Ozarks. Along with that, I want to stay healthy (mentally, physically, emotionally) by making time for daily exercise routines in the form of yoga, Bikram, calisthenics, weight training, Bikram, hiking, running, walking... Not all in one day, silly!), having social time with friends and various groups of which I am a part, as well as taking Qi Gong, Bikram, and Lindy Hop classes. Then there's the writing, reading, and art I like to enjoy. So it's all a balance act of Wu Wei and Wu Bu Wei (oh, I forgot to mention the subjects I like to study; currently, Taoist philosophy). In the professional realm, there is lesson planning and studying I do for school, professional development such as taking my last state certification exam, and prepping the book presentation for staff due next spring. I also want to finish my Master's Degree. This is a lot to do, yes??!! And while I realize the amount, I simultaneously do not feel anxious or stressed about it! I don't know why, either! perhaps it is all the personal development and evolution work I've done this past year, perhaps it is studying Taoism, perhaps it is the fact I am prioritizing balance in my life...I think a big part of it is feeling supported in a positive professional environment where communication is open, acknowledging, building, and compassionate. Goddess, I love my school! I was trying to find a word to describe my work at school: work that I carry out, work that I enjoy, and work for which I get paid. It doesn't jibe with me to call it a "job", or a "career", or even "work". In my experience, a Job is temporary and not necessarily fulfilling or enjoyable; it pays bills. A Career is just a long-term job that may or may not be enjoyable--it's work you do for a long period of time--it also pays bills. And Work has a negative connotation as well, in that it is at the opposite end of the spectrum from Play. My friend Sandy suggested an appropriate appellation for what I do (since I enjoy it and even though I am over-working right now, it does not feel like work): PLAY! What I do at school is fun, challenging, utilizes my physical body, requires my creative flow, engages me socially, fills me spiritually and professionally, supports me emotionally, stimulates me mentally, and encourages my personal evolution. All of this is reminiscent of climbing, reading, cycling, being with friends, traveling... All are actions that I enjoy and do for fun and play. Therefore, it must be play! I am so grateful to have too much to do and not feel anxious about it! i am so grateful for this school where I can be myself and reach my full potential as a mentor/educator and be authentic, feel supported, feel confident in my skills!
Since school started (training last week included), I've been getting up early to work out: yoga, strength training, pranayama, meditation, Qi Gong. One, some, or all! I feel totally energized and am experiencing increases in strength and flexibility already! I feel like I am back on track. I am grateful to have a resilient body. My knee is healing and I believe I will be back on my bike as soon as I can get the tire replaced! My energy levels (physical, emotional, mental) are higher as well. Even if I only do 1 sun salutation, or 10 minutes or 20 minutes; whatever amount is enough and I feel good to be back on track! Yay! I am grateful for my dedication, discipline, and healthy body!
I am grateful for a good first day of school! I wasn't nervous, and yet experienced a Lemony Snicket type of night and morning: I didn't slip, gave myself two minor injuries, my chai boiled over when I forgot about it, and I forgot my raincoat on a day of continuous rain. This Series of Unfortunate Events simply made me laugh at the inanity of ALL of them happening on the first day of school, which could have really thrown me for a loop of overwhelment. But I had pre-determined that I would flow like water and bend like bamboo, and viola! I did.
What a great day! Now, I'm sooooo tired!
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iGallivant......is practicing gratitude every day for 365 days. Began on April 22, 2016, let's see how life changes over the course of this next year! Archives
December 2017
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