I am grateful in the knowledge that all of that love and connection I felt at Yogaville resides in me. That love I felt was simply a reflection of my Self and an echo back to me of what I was sending. Although I already feel a sad longing for the camaraderie I experienced --it was on such an authentically deep level, I will maintain joy in my heart while experiencing the sadness. It's okay to be said and say it (write it) aloud. I will find ways to nourish that need for connection, depth, authenticity, joy, and love, here in Austin.
I am grateful to have experienced the overflowing sense of love and devotion at this particular period in my life. I am renewed and restored and back in touch with my own Inner Divinity because of that experience. I wandered off my path, but found it again. I am also so very grateful for a very new and special connection I made with one particular person, although I made so many wonderful new friends and heart-connections in addition to that one loving soul. A boundless friendship has emerged, and resting in the memories of our discussions and time together, I can immerse myself in that specific joy. I am so grateful to be reconnected to my Self! This is most important! 쿵쿵다 쿵쿵다! ("koong koong da" - the sound of one's heart beating) My heart pounds and my eyes fill at the renewed sense of joy and connection I feel that originates from within! Peace. Peace. Peace.
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I wrote no gratitude posts for 42 days between Nov. 14 Dec. 25.
Was I ungrateful? No, I think my entire Being was done-in, on all levels. From toxic physical habits and lack of exercise, to decreased practice of asana, prana, and meditation, to stressfull thoughts and feeling overwhelmed; so much so that I was paralyzed in my inaction and isolation. All aspects of Me were unsupported by me and I did not feel supported by Life. The downturn began with the month-long bout of bronchitis, which then took one additional month for me to feel 100%. I fought it. I accepted it. But it drained so much life from me. And then everything else began to overwhelm. But regardless, I have persevered. As usual! A friend recently mentioned that life is going to present tough times, but that doesn't mean you have to suffer because of them. He said his life mission is to understand and practice not suffering. This is the same lesson I have been learning through my study of Taoism: flow with the rising and falling waves and be like water. I have a renewed sense of life after these 8 days, and although the lessons are not new to me, they are returning at such an apropos time! I felt grateful during that absence of daily gratitude entries; I just didn't have the motivation to write them! I can say "I'm back" in sincerity, and not feel like it's going to be a struggle. That's the key: Stop struggling, Gina! The motivation, energy, and desire has returned, and most importantly, the ability to complete the actions necessary to maintain my Self. I find myself, surprisingly, filled with a sense of gratitude for The Darkness I have experienced since 2014. What have I learned? Well, OMG, that --as we say in Texas-- is a "whole 'nuther" post... I love life. I love myself. I love you! Life is great! Cartwheels and Ferris Wheels!
I am soooooooooooooo(toinfinity)oooooo grateful for these 8 days at Yogaville!
I have met extraordinary people on the same path and made new friends! I have embarked once again on a deep spiritual path; rather it is a continuance of the same journey, only reanimated and refreshed! My body has been rid of toxins and feels energized, restored, revitalized! I needed an impetus to get me back on track and I have that! (All of this comes from within, not from outside, btw!). I have hiked almost daily, (several times a day sometimes), attended asana class, participated in puja every day, (twice when available), eaten lovingly prepared, healthy vegetarian fare, and detoxed from coffee and sugar. I have the determination and will once again to work out daily and be firmer in my dietary habits. I am inspired! I feel like I've shed the dark, stressful, heaviness that has bore down on me this year so that I have the energy to begin running again, and work my way back up to cycling and climbing! I'M excited to renew my Bikram practice as well! There's more, but I have to run to my last puja before I leave! It's been the beginning of new friendships and love, and physical end and closure at the same time, a departure from the old and today, from the Ashram, negative habits lost and my Self regained! I am so grateful that I was able to take this trip and spend this time here! I will return very, very soon! I feel immensely grateful for my time at Yogaville.
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iGallivant......is practicing gratitude every day for 365 days. Began on April 22, 2016, let's see how life changes over the course of this next year! Archives
December 2017
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