Day 175 - SXSW
And yet, I catch myself again, as the words are fomented by my mind and subsequently expelled onto paper: I still struggle instead of going with the flow. I desperately seek the knowledge and ability to restrain from fighting myself and my current lifestyle. I desperately seek a return to my active, healthy Self. I desperately seek to shed this proclivity toward my vertical habituation and allow the awakening and stretching of my over-active, pushing forward Self. I desperately want to be that energetic, motivated, motivational, do-it-all Self that I miss so much!
In other words, how can I embrace where I am now, and yet make my way back...or is it impossible go back? Do I even wish to return? That is the opposite of growth. I would state, rather, that I would move forward to the next phase that includes habits I have held dear all my life and those same habits to which I clung for sanity, health, and well-being. I am confident that as I continue to pine for an active lifestyle, visualize it, think on it, and write out my goals, that it will--when the time is right--come about. My overarching desire is to be healthy and free of injury, and once again, enjoy those activities I adore with such fervor. I can see it all again, vividly. It's right there; I can touch that life. It is not yet beyond my grasp. In fact, it seeps into view along with this this brilliant sunlight that turns a grey murkiness into the bright blue sky of morning sunrise!
Every day I move toward my desire. I AM GRATEFUL for what has passed since I left Korea-- what was the date? October 14th, 2014?-- and what life has become NOW. I AM GRATEFUL for what is NOW. I have veered off-course from the original intention of this post, but as usual, as in life, it's always in the right direction.
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...is practicing gratitude every day for 365 days. Began on April 22, 2016, let's see how life changes over the course of this next year!