I had an informal review of "how things are going" with my school director this week, and she said I am doing everything she hoped I would be! Yay! I work with so many brilliant and experienced people that sometimes I feel inadequate, inexperienced, under-educated, and just "not good enough". Part of that is --of course-- my nature to be hard on myself and seek perfection. In recognizing that, I also have been gentle with myself during our first unit of learning (6 weeks long): allowing myself to ramp up, get used to our processes, and allow myself time to adjust physically, emotionally, and professionally.
I also think that not feeling like I'm "doing enough" or that I "am enough" (inadequacy) is a symptom of fear and old tapes. Although I have worked hard, studied, and have wonderful experience of my own in education, comparing myself to PhDs and people with 10-20 years in the field is not an approach that lends itself to me feeling like I know what I'm doing --ha! The solution has been to remind myself that I was hired out of a pool of hundreds or thousands of very-qualified people, that I have a wealth of knowledge, am a great teacher, I love learning and sharing what I learn, and that my core values are in EXACT alignment of our school's! In that light, I am THE PERFECT FIT! And thus, why am I surprised to get positive feedback on my efforts? Ha! In knowing that I am doing well, I am inspired to continue rather than coast. I wish to learn more and continue to improve in areas that are a challenge, or in areas where I lack experience. And the wonderful part of it all is that I am very confident in my abilities to do both! However, I am still so grateful to receive affirmation that I "am enough", have been "doing enough", and that I am doing well as a Mentor at my school! Yay!
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iGallivant......is practicing gratitude every day for 365 days. Began on April 22, 2016, let's see how life changes over the course of this next year! Archives
December 2017
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