Day 108 Gratitude!

This might have to be a post for the week; I've been slacking and got out of the habit of posting daily! I'm grateful for many, many things! This week, I'm thankful for : All the precious hearts with whom I work (and stop using the word "work"!), including adults and children; increased awareness of my tone of voice, word choice, and relating/communicating styles; awareness and conscious decision to change habits and actions; less fatigue; 9-hour days instead of 11-hour days; the potential for a day off this weekend (!), caffeine; a great birthday, Korean birthday cake; all the students, families, and co-workers who made my Bday a great day; and all my family and friends who remembered my Bday and called me or sent me a special email or text!

I am learning more about myself and my habits as I spend my days at school; I love the awareness. I am also giving myself huge kudos for the adaptability I am evincing--there is change and flux and inconsistency and I AM DEALING! In the past, this would have been difficult for me, to lack rigid structure and definition in my work day; I love learning to go with the flow, bend like bamboo, and contain the power of water as I wend my way around obstacles, create a path through mountains, and meld into the form into which I am poured, with ease!

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Self- awareness is to cardinal in my position, and contemporaneous with the ongoing changes in my life the past few years and at present. I think I am most grateful for the authentic caring I have for others: that I can step back, look at my actions/words, see how they affect others, and care enough to want to change. I believe I have the exceptional and uncommon character facets of power and will; the power to look within and change, and the will to do so. Perhaps it has taken me a short time in life to realize how my words and tone affect others, perhaps it has taken a decade or two. More importantly, I see it and I want it to change, therefore, I will change those aspects of myself!

I am also grateful for the open-communication I have with my co-workers. It's such a releif--after working in so many dysfunctional environs-to be able to express myself in an honest and authentic manner and have the expression of my thoughts and feelings received and accepted. I love working closely with someone (my co-Mentor), along with the rest of the staff, who expresses their feelings, yet cares about how others feel and combines the two into healthy communication skills. Are we perfect? No! Do we continue to practice and work toward effective, compassionate communication? Yes!

My family history includes repression, control, violence, rejection, unworthiness...oh I could go on. I have unlearned so much and worked on becoming an open-hearted, compassionate, loving, non-violent, self-loving, non-control-freak, openly emotive, authentic, sensitive, accepting, and overall-amazing woman. I still see some elements of controlling behavior, and I am grateful I can see this in myself and deliberately, methodically, work to free myself of this trait. I will replace it with "letting be", acceptance, and additional compassion.

In all of this, I conclude that not only am I grateful for how I get to spend my time (my new appellation for work: spending time how I choose!), but for the person I am, have become, and am becoming. Both are awesome!