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I am grateful for friends and fun, being out of doors, sitting on grass and easing back to view the gibbous moon while "troths" and "yon softs" are tossed out at us from enthusiastic Shakespearean thespians.
I am grateful for inner work that tries me so and makes me scream silently when alone, in frustration at how hard it is to be aware and move forward toward change, feeling chained by the current state of inertia, yet knowing it will pass. I am grateful that my energy is starting to resume its flow through my body and mind; creative spurts of thought flooded my mind yesterday and I felt enlivened. I am grateful for the erudite teacher of Tao, who writes below, to remind me, that I AM, if I ALLOW myself to be: "SUMMER BEGINS (Li Xia) It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking only of the external season. What is it to be summer? What is it to be the glory of long days, ample growth, easy living? What is it to have ripening, nurturing, and comfort? Can we be summer, can we give it to others for their benefit, and can we let our sun be bright and our nights warm? Can we be a warm breeze, sweeping away the dampness, and be the breath of the world? Summer is always in you. Let this be the day when your presence helps others to begin." -Deng Ming-Dao Summer is my time. I am summer. I blossom, I bloom, I metamorph from the dark cocoon of winter. If I can get out of my head and room and into the sunlight and joy, I can become (again) what I am meant to be, and fulfill my destiny of Light. Light that attracts all good things and people to me. I have overcome the dark times, I have triumphed. I have learned and grown through the trials. I have survived, but more, I have succeeded. I have prevailed against the stressors and the occurrences that would bring me low or back into darkness. One by one, I have faced the challenges and succeeded! I have but one last outside stressor, although I still work on the ones caused in my mind and thinking. Those require continual attention, but they bring me to where I need to be, when I accept it, or fight it, I still end in the same place of goodness. I will return. I will renew. I may never be the same, but I will be a better version of myself. In summer, the sun is brightest and at its highest temperature. The sun's light comes early and chases away night until the late hours. Now is my time to be that sun and burn brightly and steadily, chasing away darkness, spreading heat and Light to others, and maintaining my own rigor and steadfastness so that I do not burn out, but retain consistency. I am The Summer Sun. I am TaeYang. 나는 태양입니다 ! Today I'm grateful for caffeine, which is probably affecting me detrimentally and not really working, but what the hell, and my yoga practice: asana and pranayama this AM. I am also grateful for ideas and the recollection to put my self aside and focus on others, even when I'm not 100%.
Awareness is a bitch and the path toward self-awareness and Highest Self is hard. I totally get the bromide: Ignorance is bliss. Sometimes I want a little bliss but I know this process pays off later. But damn. I'm grateful for new books that distract my self from my thoughts. I'm grateful. For awesome co-workers, for awareness and change and evolution, for the support that's always there even when I don't feel it, for answers, for friends I am grateful for my health! I've had "health issues" or "urgencies", but overall, and my entire life, I have been very, very healthy. During the times when I was injured to the point of (for me) disability, or ill so that I needed surgery, it was so depressing. Life has shown me people who live like this on a daily basis for their entire life, and I cannot begin to grasp that. My pain or injury lasted a few months to over one year and I could barely stand living (of course, it wasn't just one hardship thrown at me, it was several). How do people who suffer chronic pain or illness master the fortitude to live? I am not being glib--I honestly do not know the answer.
At any rate, after spending time with several people recently who are ill or injured, it makes me doubly and triply grateful for my good health and good karma. I need to exercise more and lose weight, but at the core, there is really nothing wrong with me. My knee is 98% healed, I believe the low energy to be self-perpetuated, and the problem I had in Korea is long since over and solved. I would like to take less for granted and act more on this gratitude. It's all a process and a flow, which I choose to go with! |
iGallivant......is practicing gratitude every day for 365 days. Began on April 22, 2016, let's see how life changes over the course of this next year! Archives
December 2017
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