Talk about no sleep. It's both interesting and appalling that during the entire 18 days of my recent holiday break, I felt NO ANXIETY until the night before I return to school. This says a lot about the relationship I have with... (I'll just keep those details to myself for now). I spent last night awake, or seeming that I was in the process of awakening, all night! UGH. But even in this, I can - and will - find gratitude!
I'm grateful that I recognized the anxiety I felt yesterday was due to fear of confrontation and conflict (yet, again!) and I actively approached these thoughts with positive turnarounds, determination to be assertive and disallow this person from walking over me or treating me unprofessionally (ANYMORE!), and utilizing some of the anxiety-relieving tools I've learned recently, along with active deep breathing and breath awareness.
I didn't feel controlled by the thoughts of fear and anxiety like I have. Lots of good has happened over the break, and I plan for that to continue. ACTION!!! Despite being fatigued, I know I can get through the day, whereas last year, I wasn't sure I would be able to survive! I also decided to think about the positives I love about school--which are many. I am only wrapped up in BS for very short time periods and on specific days, so I am determined to filter those times out and compartmentalize them to the time they occur, and stay focused and present in the classroom, do my best, and have fun with my kids--which automatically results in them having fun! YAY again.
I am grateful for this awareness, and ability to take action and think clearly, and for a returned sense of energy and vibrancy!