Pagoda along a stream near my school; from my walk home. Grateful to feel full of energy today! Fully rested and sparked; hope to keep it up and maintain it through the day! Grateful for awareness of not wanting to be fully aware of what hides behind my habits; fear is surfacing and it is terrifying... but I am working to be ready and manage it. Grateful for my lovely plants that brighten my metaphorical and literal views! Grateful for good friends, co-teachers, and students. Grateful for healing paths and people leading me down them; for the opportunity to heal. Grateful that I am recognizing the process is slow, and almost accepting that! Grateful for financial prosperity and having the icey, silvery despair of money fears flowing through my soul like mercury, alleviated. Grateful to feel prosperous and "well off" Grateful for my apartment, which despite the constant clanging and banging of construction out my window, I love very much. Grateful for my bath tub! Grateful for massages and body treatments that cost less than $15 USD! (Yeah, wow!) Grateful that the air is not too bad so far!
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Drug myself to a Turkey Day party. The holidays don't make me feel happy or connected, but I am glad I went :-) I am grateful for starting over --maybe every day--but I keep starting. I am grateful for friends who care about me. I am grateful that at the darkest pit of the deepest well, I know that there is still light at the top, and a rope to help me upward. I am grateful for my new mattress that, along with my heated bed pad--makes my bed so hygge and luxuriously warm! I am grateful for the herbal medicine tea I drink, it tastes good and makes me feel good. I am grateful that despite the bad habits, I still have good ones. I am grateful for my new plants and flowers which make my home so lush and colorful. I am grateful that the air is not so bad and that it might not get terribly horribly polluted this winter. I am grateful for my friend and co-worker, JoAnna, that got me a cute stuffed pig. I am grateful for financial prosperity, that I have an abundance now and am free from the poverty and struggle of the last few years. I am grateful I get to visit India, the Philippines, or Indonesia for Chinese New Year vacation. I am grateful to have those choices and opportunity and the money to enjoy traveling. I am grateful to live in China. I am grateful for my job. I am grateful to have met a few truly kind, loving, and accepting people here. M. and M., you warm my heart. I am grateful to know the fear exists, even if I cannot yet face it. I am grateful for my TCM doc. I am grateful to see my friend Capt. Andy, who will be gallivanting across China in December; it's been 10 years! I am grateful that now and then, I can get myself "out there" even when I don't want to. Finally starting to bond with the kiddos. Took me several months to get into a rhythm this year. I am grateful for my awesome co-teachers and sweet kiddos.
I am grateful for my new mattress topper, gawd I can sleep better and actually jump into bed now. Chinese mattresses, like Korean ones, are rock hard. Sleeping with torn rib cartilage on a rock is uncomfortable. I am grateful for all my new plants! They have dampened the construction noise, enhanced my view, and added privacy; plus, it's just lovely to look out onto a lush jungle when it is cold and damp and grey outside. I'm grateful for my new TCM doc and the herbal medicine I drink daily. I hope it is undoing some of the damage the past 8 months in China--and the past 30 years of habits--inflicted on my body-mind-soul. There a few habits I can't seem to break that are really driving me nuts right now. My motivation and discipline are buried in a trench somewhere, and I can't locate them. But I keep trying. I am grateful I have friends here whith whom I can enjoy life. I am grateful there is a lot going on in Chengdu; I choose to participate or not--but there are options. And my friend Andy is traversing China for a month--we will have some fun times in various provinces, and I will get to see some places I have not yet visited! |
Gina is......grateful for the past and the future! Archives
November 2018
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