I am so grateful for so much! Although I missed it, damnit, there was a huge turn out for the last Dinner Around The World gathering, which turned into a Bon Voyage for me! Wow! I am floored by the # of people that turned out at DK Sushi to wish me well. I am grateful for all the love and care! I am going to miss my IA families!
I am grateful that I got everything except for two boxes shipped and off to China; even though it cost double what I expected, ugh! I’m reminding myself that this is a long-term investment so a large initial outlay of $$ is expected as I relocate across the globe!!! I am grateful for friends who love me and whom I will dearly miss while I’m gone! I’m grateful for the help I’ve received from wonderful people, and of course, D&E, who are letting me store 6 boxes of my 30-year’s-worth of journals and personal writings in their garage until I feel comfortable with spending another $grand* (forrealz!) to ship them over! I’m grateful that pretty much everything is done except for a few things-to-do so that I have been able to relax this AM, write, play on FB, and organize the remainder for shipping, suitcases, and donations! I AM GRATEFUL!!! Wheeeee! Wo neng xing!
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As of right now, it is 0911 on Saturday, I depart for the airport at noon Monday; 2 days, 2 hours, 48 minutes, and 22 seconds from now! I managed to achieve two goals last night: to stay up until 2am for time-change adjustment, and to get all my boxes packed! Whoo Hoo! Done! And boy am I exhausted! I am so grateful that 98% of everything is packed! I just have to wrap some framed artwork, finalize my box of cosmetics and liquids for shipping, and organize the suitcases that I will take to Paris and then on to Chengdu. It is absolutely DOABLE to get everything else done today and tomorrow! I’m grateful my roomie said he would help me get the boxes to the PO, because that job was a potential killer—9 boxes weighing 30-60 lbs. each!! I think they are all within the Chinese restriction of 66 lbs, and I managed to get everything that was important—even my SCUBA gear! Whoo Hoo! I’m going to leave my6 boxes of journals at a friend’s, sadly, but prepare them to ship so that I can either get them later, or they will be easy to ship when I come back to visit in 2 years...! I’m grateful it’s almost all done, even though I am very, very, very, very, very tired! I’m grateful I get to see many of my Lil Peeps again, at our last Dinner Around The World today! I’ll be super grateful for the hours-long nap I plan on afterward, then a farewell and celebratory dinner with my besties who have helped me in innumerable ways since my return from Korea. I am grateful I survived this sojourn in ATX, because it wasn’t at all easy!! I’m grateful that I’ll be in Paris on my Half Birthday! I’m grateful I am moving to China! I’m grateful for all the visualizations and positive affirmations I have done for years that have come to fruition! I am grateful for so much!!! Yay! I’ve been too busy to think about how awesome my life is becoming... going to Paris for mini-break, moving to the awesome country of China, which I know I will LOVE! I’m so grateful for all of this... to spend time with friends and fam before I depart, to have the opportunity to spend time in France, to have the gift of moving to China! I’ve spent some fun times with former students, friends, family...these are the times for which I feel immensely grateful!!! Yay! And I’m grateful that I am starting to believe I might have it all done by Monday and not be overly stressed when I get on the plane... LOL Yay! I am superkalifragalistikally grateful with sparkles and glitter and cartwheels! A very quick gratitude post to say that I am grateful that I get to see my students one more time; we’ll go to the food park or Chuy’s afterschool today! I’m grateful I get to see my co-mentor Chris today, I will miss him! I am grateful that I will get tons of stuff done today and hopefully some of that will be packing—giving up on orgazninzed pakcing, it’s time to throw sh$$ in boxes and mail it!!! Grateful to be able to buy a new Chromebook. I’m grateful I get to be in Paris on my Half-Bday! I’m grateful for my Sister who helped me get my teaching license the hell out of FL! I’m grateful that I am relocating to China!!! Yay!
XieXie!!! What a friends for? Well one thing, to remind you to get back into "appreciation mode" when you are stressed! Well then, I'll start off by being grateful to my friend Julie, who reminded me of just that when I told her I have so much to do before I depart and so little time that I am considering whether or not to cancel my Bon Voi-agee Partee! Erk...
So first of all I am grateful for my friends: all my friends who have offered help through this relocation! And I am specifically grateful for Julie, who I met so many years ago and became fast friends in the way-back-when of "FoodHole", and who is sweet and kind and beautiful and uplifting! Thank you, Julie! I am grateful for lists... lots and lots of lists that change each day and sometimes get items marked through, LOL! I am grateful for each item I get to cross off as DONE! I am grateful to have a rental car. I am grateful I sold the truck! I am grateful I have the means to rent a car! I am grateful I have the means to buy what I need for this trip, and a little extra for splurging! I am grateful that this "simple" move to China has turned into multi-dreams-come-true! I am grateful that I have SO MUCH to donate to the good people helped by Refugee Sevices of TX* and SAFEplace**! Ok, that's all the time I have for gratitude... gotta do it again tomorrow to stay sane!!! :-)) *https://www.rstx.org/ **www.safeaustin.org/safeplace/ I’m feeling pretty stressed about all I have to do in the next 8 days!! I know I can do it (I don’t have a choice LOL) but it sure would be easier if I held onto my truck one more day and didn’t have to spend all day in Houston tomorrow! I have so much packing and organizing to do! I still need boxes! I have to run to FedEx and make sure I have copies (extra copies) of EVERTHING so there is no hold up at the Consulate tomorrow. Still need to sell my bike and some other stuff, donate a whole bunch of stuff... aagh!
And my heart is feeling hurt about the recent interaction with some close family not my FTW people!) who just don’t give a damn about me... it’s something I’ve known a long time, but it has been reinforced recently with my move to China. On the bright side, I am grateful that I have a portion of family who care for me and love me. I am grateful for wonderful friends who care for me and love me. I am grateful that I have achieved enough financial prosperity that I can afford the extra $$ I’m shelling out for the move and visa and going out with friends and family. I’m grateful that I can afford the car service and rental cars I need now that I sold the truck. I sold the truck! Whoo Hoo! For a bit more than I expected, too! I’m grateful that it is all coming together and working out. I’m grateful—sooooooooverrrrrrrygratefulllllllll—for this new teaching position in China! China! I am so grateful I am moving to China! And Paris! I get to spend FOUR FULL DAYS in Paris!!! It may be harried and hurried, but I CAN DO IT ALL—I can do everything I need to do before I leave in 8 days, 4 hours, and 29 minutes!!! Aagh! I need to stop writing my gratitude here and go pack! LOL! And I’m grateful I feel better, now that I have remembered everything for which I am grateful, and written it here on the “paper” of my blog! I needed a wave of gratitude to get me out of the “fear” of not finishing everything and the sadness of rejection. 我能行 Wo Neng Xing! je peux le faire! 나는 그것을 할 수있다! I can do it! I am so grateful that SOME of my family are actually kind to me and care about me, and demonstrate it! They give me double the love so that it can make up for the others who don't give a damn or who are so toxic, their love is poisonous and harmful. I've been able to spend some wonderful time with my fam in FTW, and even though it was so short, it was wonderful. I always wish I had more time with them, they are wonderful people and wonderful to me. My FTW family has always been kind and loving to me, whether I was around or not! It's a blessing to feel loved by family, (for a change)! Day 28 - Sequence of Events - Serendipity - "Ooh la la!" - Bon Voyage - Merci! Merci! Merci!2/15/2018 If I hadn't let myself get so stressed out... I would not have "lost" my car downtown that day... I would not have decided that I needed a break-- I was tooooo stressed out! -- so F it all; I took the remainder of the day "off" from visa-seeking madness and instead, sought a film to relax my mind... I would not have ended up at the Austin Film Society Theatre to see Agnes Varda's "Faces Places" (aka "Visage Villages" and her French name is pronounced ahn-yay' vahd'-dah)... I would not have been inspired by the panoramic images of small town France... I would not have been reminded of my desire to stroll the halls of Musee de Louvre, though at a much slower place than Mme Varda and JR, as they flew along the Grande Galerie... I would not have thought to give a Paris layover one last look in my airfare search, before I settled on Seoul... I would not have come home and searched for airfares... I would not be flying to Paris in 12 days!!! In a grande finale, I am so grateful I was stressed and recognized it and decided to take a break! I am so grateful for my Goddess Serendip to guide me to a French auteur's semi-autobiographical documentary, (or as Koganada would define it: a video essay); nee' a cinécriture (writing on film) -- a descriptive the filmmaker herself used. I am so grateful I am flying to Paris for a mini-break and rest before I venture on to another Great Adventure in China! I am so grateful I will get to cry tears of gratitude and appreciation and wonder at the visions on canvas in Le Louvre! I am so grateful I get to pay homage to my favorite author, Victor Hugo, at his grave in Paris, in Le Pantheon. I am so grateful I have my air tickets and that part is over! I am so grateful I get to fly first class to Paris! I am so grateful I have 12 days to pack and ship and sell and donate! I am so grateful I am finally leaving Austin! I am so grateful that several of my dreams/goals/visualizations are fulminating all at once, loudly, born from one important decision! I am so grateful that I get to live in China! I am so grateful I have been hired by an International Baccalaureate World school! I am so grateful I to learn another language: Mandarin! (!!!!!!) I am so grateful to feel so grateful! I am so grateful for the massive financial prosperity (finally) coming my way! I am so grateful that the toil and tears of the last 4 years have paid off! I am so grateful to be provided a HUGE flat--for me me me me ONLY!!! I am so grateful to get to live alone again! I am so grateful I will be able to have a dog again! I am so grateful I have already "met" a group of expats in Chengdu, become acquainted with my future teachers, and already made friends with my future coworkers! I am so grateful I get the opportunity to live in one of the four greatest ancient civilization; a culture spanning more than four millennia! (!!!) I am just so dang grateful!!!! OMG!! Je vais a Paris! (I'm going to Paris!) 나는 파리에 갈거야!! (I'm going to Paris!) 我要去法国! (I'm going to France!) 나는 만다린 어를 배운다! ( I will study Mandarin!) Viva Le France!!! (Hurrah for France!) 나는 중국을 사랑해! (I Love China!) http://www.cineart.nl/films/visages-villages This past weekend the stress started building... I knew it was happening, and new I was reaching my limit so I took action. Truthfully, I was grateful to feel stress and not anxiety; there is a marked difference in my opinion. Related to my life, stress consists of outside factors, that if left unmanaged, can lead to the physical/emotional/mental result of symptoms characterizing anxiety. Once again, after having so much anxiety (mainly work-related) for so many months and not being able to control the origin nor my reaction, it is quite a relief to recognize that I am starting to feel over-stressed, while holding in awareness that I can control (to a degree) the events causing the stress. More importantly, I am grateful for the awareness that some of my own actions/inactions were increasing the stress-burden!
I have been so busy with visa paper work and research and logistics, that I stopped making time for my morning yoga practice, because I felt I had no time for it. Mealtime has shifted to when I "have time", so I have gone hungry and delayed meals for hours. Exercise became sporadic. Aargh. Even my "downtime" did not feel relaxing because there was the constant shadow of to-do creeping around; whispering, interrupting... Thus, I am grateful for the awareness because it brought me to a stopping point in this flurry of worry about deadlines, air tickets, departures, arrivals, boxes not yet packed, friends not visited, endless to-do lists carried over from day-to-day, starting my new job fresh, shipping fees, shipping how-to's, etc. My worries were another long list LOL! So I stopped the busy-stressful-work flurries: I called friends in Chengdu for support and guidance and I received it; I was reminded that my new school is much more easy and flexible and they want me to start fresh, rested, and positive; I found answers to the shipping and customs questions which had remained unanswered until then, and I took the rest of the day off and went to see an amazing film that helped me formulate an itinerary for travel... but more on that later! (Hint below...!) https://www.louvre.fr/en Woke up and realized I only have about two weeks left... and whoa! Feel like I haven't gotten anything done!
I am grateful for new information, self-awareness, organized lists, day-by-day schedules, being meticulous and organized, having energy to deal with all of these To-Dos, new sleep patterns, fun times with friends, opportunities to make new friends, already establishing friendships in Chengdu, a clear vision, clarity in decision making, big suitcases, increased prosperity, and potential for great circumstances and flow coming my way! yay! |
Gina is......grateful for the past and the future! Archives
November 2018
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