Day 22 of Fast!

Overall, I'm still feeling good.  I've been really hungry though, the past few days.  It is a weird sensation.  Going on Day 3, I can determine that it is definitely hunger: my stomach growls and rumbles and I'm thinking of food. I'm going to buy some fast-breaker food in town today, just to be safe, but I'm determined to at least hang on through Friday, which will be 25 days.  I'm also adding a few fats to my tea (coco oil or ghee), in small amounts, as it still gives me a bit of diarrhea.  If needed, I'll double my broth intake to 2 cups per day.  Then again, I'm reminding myself that: "It [hunger] doesn't matter, and I don't care {about the hunger]"!  It's just a really odd sensation!  Hunger dissipates withing the first 3-4 days of fasting for me, and if it does return, it's not enough to bother me.  But yesterday, I felt hungry all day, to the point of distraction! And I woke up hungry today! 

Hmmm... I wonder if it's related to the anxiety and fear I am feeling about returning to teaching? Come to think of it, the hunger onset coincided with my awareness of the fear and anxiety!  Double hmmm!  I was going to do some writing on this topic yesterday, and kept procrastinating the task, becuase it will be very uncomfortable! Time to put away the laptop, stop avoiding the feelings, and sit with them, so I can let them go! ​

Some supplements for refeeding from www.iherb.com . Enzymes to help increase stomach acid to improve digestion; postassium iodide to supplement both of those nutrients; and Chyawanprash for its Amla content, which is a bitter herb that tonifies digestion and has massive amounts of Vitamin C.  Soap and body oil, too!

I bought these products from https://www.nutrachamps.com/ , in the hopes they will help my hair regrow and grow thicker, stronger, and longer.  I lost my hair by the handful my last few months in China, due to the stress of school.  In July, it started coming out again in handfuls due to stress from drama here.  They offer a money-back guarantee, so they are confident in their ethically-sourced product line! In the meantime, I'm working on my emotional resilience and mindfulness, so that my reaction to stress changes, and it affects me less harshly!

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Another major epiphany I experienced during my fasting/inner work journey: I was practicing asana along with Yogaville's free livestream yoga classes
https://www.latest.facebook.com/events/246674883035538?acontext=%7B%22source%22%3A5%2C%22action_history%22%3A[%7B%22surface%22%3A%22page%22%2C%22mechanism%22%3A%22main_list%22%2C%22extra_data%22%3A%22%5C%22[]%5C%22%22%7D]%2C%22has_source%22%3Atrue%7D
last night and I suddenly became aware that I had not RELEASED some of the pain I have felt.  I have chronic rib pain from torn cartiledge between my ribs, caused by coughing for one month straight, due to bronchitis acquired in China from constant sinus and lung infections due to the poisonous air.  That was a year-and-a-half ago!  This came to my conscious mind during the relaxation!  I need to actively and intentionally RELEASE that pain.  Then, my mind went to other areas that I might be holding on, mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally.  I will begin to verbalize the release of those, too.  Healing takes longer if you hang on to the cause, pain, etc.  I want to work on releasing the pain and stress I experienced in China; the emotional trauma and causes from 2015-2017; the weight and fat I gained since 2017; the part in me that wants to numb and avoid painful emotions rather then feel them, acknowledge, accept, then let them go; the anger and rejection I feel from a certain family member; and the fear and anxiety I am currently experiencing around my return to teaching!

https://www.yogaville.org/