So much for a good-night's sleep! Ouch, woke me up... Ouch! WTF! had me jump out of bed, flailing and brushing off my my body desperately as I realize something had stung the F*** out of me on the back of my arm and my side! I couldn't find anything initially, as I threw my pillows off the bed and tossed blankets to the floor. Then, I finally had the presence of mind to pull the top sheet off, and voila! A damn little brown scorpion! Although it still stung, and I was still half asleep, it didn't seem like it was venomous. It too, me another few minutes to garner courage to smash the damn thing, in addition to finding something with which to flatten the little bastard! And then it totally gushed on my sheet like it was full of poison! There was no way I was going back to sleep in that bed, so I threw my comfortor and pillows over the banister and headed for the very lumpy, hard, uncomfortable IKEA couch downstairs. Speaking of downstairs, WHY THE F would that damn critter scuttle up all those stairs to crawl between my sheets! Yeah, I want a companion between in my bed that gives me an affectionate nip or two now and then, but certainly not a damn scorpion that bit me twice! Ouch, Mofo! Those little suckers give a sting like a bee, but the bite only swells to the size of a much-scratched mosquito bite. The pain receded within 15 minutes and there was no residual mark or redness this morning; just some left over pissed-off-ness and freaked-out-ness abiding in yours truly. There was no way I could sleep on that spring-filled convertible couch; my back hurt from the springs within 20 minutes! Around 1AM, I had done a little research and discovered what type had rudely awakened me: a bastard Striped Bark Scorpion. https://www.mugabugpestcontrol.com/colorados-scorpions-2/ Non-venomous, and commonly found indoors, just like a little bastard would be! It scared me out of deep slumber more than hurt me, so I figured I would go back to upstairs and at least lie down in comfort despite the risk of other little bastards lying in wait. I drug myself back up the stairs for the 4th or 5th time since midnight and started lifting up mattresses and pulling back the fitted sheet to look for an "infestation" of bastard scorpions. I ended up ensconsing myself in the comforter so that --hopefully-- nothing could crawl up from the floor or from between the mattresses to attack me again at 3am! Needless to say, I did not sleep well! I'll be tearing my bed apart each night for a few weeks! Being wary of bastard scorpions is nothing new to me; we have them in Texas. Spending summers on the lake in Fort Worth when I was a kid, as soon as you can walk and sleep in your own bed at Mee-Maw's lakehouse, you learn to watch for scorpions and can easily recognize poison ivy! You are taught to shake out your shoes before you put them on, and always pull back the sheets and check for bastard scorpions! Here in Colorado, I was also warned about scorpions so I have been careful to check my hiking boots, which I leave outdoors. Yet I forgot the Sheet Rule. In all my time outdoors or living in remote areas, I have NEVER, EVER been bitten by a scorpion or gotten poison ivy! Damnit, my record's blown! I'm gonna go take a nap. And yeah, it's only 930AM. Aargh!
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Gina is...House-sitting in Beulah Valley, Colorado. Archives
December 2020
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