Resistance Part 1 - Why? vs. How?

Why?

Why aren't things different?
Why can't I change?
Why won't I do the things I know I need to do for self-care?
Why am I resisting?

I want reality to be other than it is.
I want to exercise daily.
I want to lose weight.
I want to have more energy.
I want to stop eating sugar.
I want to get out of the house more often.
I want to walk to school every day.
I want to ride my bike, run, climb, go to Bikram, and hike every day.
I want to feel energetic, "normal", and "lovin' life".
I want to accomplish all the things I put off because I just don't have the physical or psychic energy to complete them!

I want to do all these things that help me feel well, healthy, normal, and happy, but I can't seem to find the motivation or strength or energy or time to do them. Why? What's wrong with me?

The converse of this vicious circular coin:
​I am doing what I need to do right now. I am working on energy centers and grounding techniques, I am practicing yoga and prana and meditation a bit more consistently, I am seeing an acupuncturist and TCM and also in conversation with a holistic MD. Slowly I will heal and return to a state of energetic enthusiasm. I know I can.

How?

How is the question I should be asking:

​(to be continued)