Chaos Theory

Map of Gina's World Tours...

Small actions in a dynamic system will trigger vast and unexpected changes.

Can seemingly insignificant choices change the course of history?  Absolutely.  Even these small changes in my life affect other people, which affects people beyond them, which will eventually affect the entire world through exponential growth.  It's simple mathematics, with a hefty dose of quantum physics, of course.
I change the Universe. 
     But I care less for changing the Universe and its lesser known stars, than I do for changing the bright constellations within my own seemingly insular life.  
     The faux grained wood of the desk top is cool to my touch, as my forearms rest lightly on the surface of my desk, as I type furiously.  ...money... money...money...  Beyond my conscious attention, an office mate is exclaiming about something or another on his TV.  I've already been at work a few hours now and am deeply involved in my work, just after 9 a.m., my keen ability to bar extraneous information keeps me at my task.  My cereal bowl remains unwashed, near my elbow.  There are many days that I eat at least two meals at my desk, but mostly, it's all three.  I leave around 8 in the evening and drive directly to the gym, where I can literally run away from it all, on a treadmill.  I'm a hamster running nowhere both at the gym and at the office.  ...faster...faster...faster... money...money...money... tap-tap-tap-type-type-type I'm rarely away from the office for longer than an 11 hour period, excluding my weekend, which begins after a morning at the office.  Money...Money...Money.
     "Gina, you need to watch this." registers a few moments after being spoken, and then I notice a small crowd of my fellow financiers has gathered in my colleague's office: necks craned toward the TV suspended from the ceiling corner.  It's September 11, 2001 and I am watching smoke waft from the tower in a city I heart NY less than a 10-hour drive away.  "Hmm",  I murmur, and swing  my focus  back to my laptop until several gasps and an "Oh my god", draw me back.  I hate the news, flits through my awareness, it's always bad, always makes us feel bad... What's the point in watching another building burn?  I turn my head toward the screen in time to see an airplane crash into the second tower of the World Trade Center.

(notes)
grandpa
clients 
money
relationship
waiting til retirement

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