My biggest fear is that I will have invested and wasted 6 months attempting to enter China, not be able to, and HD won't honor the contract, which will result in me being unemployed and without income. I will have to start from scratch with the job hunt, and as most schools already completed the hiring process for the 2021-22 school year, I will be left with choosing "whatever I can get", instead of actively choosing a teaching position that is well-suited to me and my education philosophy.
The dealings with HR have been disappointing at best, and have left me with a complete lack of confidence in the department at worst. I have no trust in the HR Department because they neglected to give me a complete breakdown of the visa process, nor did they give thorough instructions; in fact, I received conflicting information on at least one occasion. This has left me with strong doubts and tue niggling feeling of my gut instinct telling me to walk away and look for another teaching position.
The fear comes from having to start the whole damn search process over; wondering if I'll be able to find a good position; and being faced with a continued lack of income, a car payment, and being unhoused in the USA. Not only will I have to begin job hunting, I will also have to continue house- and pet-sitting and spend time searching for those gigs as well as driving all over the damn country.
Age comes into play too as many countries have work visa restrictions based on age, which start at age 50. Many are 55 or 60 and schools don't want to hire someone close to that age because their work tenure is short. I'll be 53 in 2 months.
International teaching job opportunities, usually so abundant, are scarce this year due to pandemic-related entry restrictions. It's hard as hell to get into China without the pandemic issue. Now the entry requirements and delays due to Chinese Consulates in the USA being closed for in-person applications, along with strict requirments (direct flights only, multiple COVID-19 tests prior to applying and flying, 3-week quarantine on arrival, etc.), have made hell even hotter and harder!
I'm usually confident in my ability to find a good teaching job outside the USA (or even in the USA), due to my experience and qualifications. Not now. Not with limited opportunities and limited entry. I still do not want to work in the US due to the terrible pay and treatment of educators, as well as the high chance of being gunned down and the horrible education environment for both teachers and children. The school in Shanghai is such an excellent match for me, but the Universe keeps slamming doors in my face. Why open the goddamn door in the first place then? I've spent just about every single day since April dealing with the visa application process and just becoming more and more stressed at the roadblocks that are thrown up on a daily basis. It doesn't feel good nor right anymore. I am really second-guessing this decision and feel like I am at a crossroads of decision.
...Small actions in a dynamic system will trigger vast and unexpected changes