I've been coming round to the notion of Balance and Non-Struggle. It is the slowest of processes because somewhere along the peregrination that is my life I picked up the habit of fighting to change and struggling against What Is, instead of Going With The Flow and Allowing. Ergo, I am grateful to (finally) be aware of this quality and have the courage to face it and change it. It ain't easy! I look at aspects of my Life or my Self and am dissatisfied instead of accepting. I want to be different in certain ways, then what follows that desire is allowing that one aspect to define who I am (in my own mind), instead of focusing on all my positives (of which there are an innumerable amount!) I fight and struggle against my Self and Exactly Now, to my detriment and sorrow; i.e., creating and magnifying suffering (it multiplies negative thoughts in my mind like a virus) in my Life. Yet, as I see what I am doing, my awareness increases and consequently, my ability to change increases in accord.
And thus, here I am, feeling grateful for the awareness that I want something that differs from Reality, and that is impossible, so I will work on accepting Life and Myself exactly As-Is, Right Now. I'd rather be happy than suffer.
...is practicing gratitude every day for 365 days. Began on April 22, 2016, let's see how life changes over the course of this next year!